11.3.96

Episode 2B

Star Trek: Pheonix-X
Find Voyager? No Problem

(On the Pheonix-X)
Daniel: Okay, good. We have just received a new mission. The mission is to retrieve the Intrepid ship Voyager. Ever since we got word of them being alive, we have been assigned to get them. Set a course for the Delta Quadrant.
Ensign Dan: Yeah, another mission!
Daniel: Ensign, you are relieved.
Night: Find Voyager?
Daniel: Yes find Voyager, and make me look good in the making.
Ensign Dan: Where is it?
Daniel: If we knew that, we would not have a mission!
Ensign Dan: If you knew that, we might have a good captian!
Night: Go ahead and say it...
Daniel: You're relieved!
Night: So how do we start?
Daniel: We should analyze the situation... how did they get lost in the first place?
Night: I dunno, it was such an old episode I forget.
Daniel: Hhmmm.... well we could head for the Delta quadrant, but we could risk running into the Borg.
Night: And it would also take us a while.
BOB: We could get lost too.
Daniel: Who asked you.
Night: We could get lost too.
Daniel: That's true... good thing you brought that up.
Armond: Starfleet has provided us with maps.
Night: Captian, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Daniel: We should take over the Universe?
Night: No, we can plan a shortcut and race at transwarp speed to Voyager!
Daniel: Egad, brilliant Night! Oh-no, wait, wait... what if someone turns around and sees us while we are at transwarp?
Night: Then... we'll just have to tell them they were wrong.
BOB: Staying at transwarp for a prolonged period of time will over heat our transwarp core.
Night: Not to mention saving Voyager would mess up the theme.
Daniel: Good point.
BOB: You can't just abort a mission like that!
Daniel: Oh what do Ferengi's know? All they do is negotiate, deal, and bet.
BOB: What!? We do not. I'll bet you that I can stay on your ship, help with all your missions without earning a single slip of latinum.
Daniel: You're on.
BOB: And if I win, you owe me 1 brick of latinum.
Daniel: You're on.

(Later)
(In the mess hall)
Daniel: Can I have a cup over here please?
Chef: Would you like a drink to go with that?
Daniel: No. Just a cup.
Chef: Okay, coming right up....here's your cup sir.
Captain: Thanks.
(The Captain squishes into the cup. Chef turns and leaves. Then the chef comes back and takes the cup with the Captain in it. He washes it. The Captain is now in the Plumbing system of the ship.)

(Later in Ensign Dan's quarters, he washes his hands. The Captain, being stuck in the Plumbing, squishes through the sink.)
Captain Daniel: I hate when that happens.
Dan: Captain?
Captain: Thanks a lot. I want you on duty immediately for helping me.
Dan: Captain?
Captain: Are you questioning me? You are relieved.

(The Captain returns to the Bridge)
Daniel: What is our status Numba' 1?
Night: Nothing. We have no mission.
Daniel: Uh! You could at least make something up.
BOB: Sir, there is some ship off the port bow.
Daniel: On screen.
BOB: It's federation. It's Voyager!
Daniel: It can't be. That'll mess up the whole theme!
(Q suddenly appears)
Q: Luke, I am your father. What? Where am I? You did not see that.
Night: What in the world?
Q: What do you mean by that? Just for that, I'm knocking your friend's back to where they came from!
(He snaps his fingers and Voyager is pushed back into the Delta quadrant. Pheonix-X returns to the Alpha quadrant)

(On Pheonix-X)
Daniel: Alright. It looks like the theme isn't messed up now.
Night: But there's no explanation to what just happened!
Daniel: Yes there is, Commander. Somewhere... out there in the universe... there is.

(On Voyager)
Janeway: I'm going to get that Captain Daniel when we get back.
Chacotay: Oh buck up.
Janeway: Now we have more time to ourselves if you know what I mean.
Paris: Captain, the borg is approaching. Also Species 8472.
Janeway: I'll get that Captain Daniel! Ahhhhhhh!